THE DAY TIME STOOD STILL

Wellll...Hello Dear Ones!!! It's been brought to my attention that it has been a while since I've up-dated my blog. Hmmm well yeah....3 months (gosh where has the time gone?) maybe they were right! lol My life has been a whirl wind since moving here to "smallville" Texas. As some of you know, I left my husband and home in Oklahoma and moved down to my parents home town here in Tex. My marriage, well it is still on hold though Roy and I are "talking" and he has now decided that "I" am what he wants in life, "with me" is where he wants to be, and so therefore he is looking for a job here, and is making plans to pack up "his" life and move away from "his" family and the only area on Earth that "he" has called home for over 30 years so that he and I can work through our problems and hopefully save our marriage.......we'll see. I pray that it will come to pass and that he and I can resolve issues that have plagued our marriage for so long and become united as one in the eyes of man and God once again. I love my husband...he is a good man, with a tender heart, and a good match for me, as long as he stays off the alcohol...we'll see. OK....now for what has been going on in my life for the last three months......Buckle Up, it's a crazy ride!!

Myself, my youngest son (16year old Paul) and my foster son (17yr old Corey) moved down here and into a single wide 3 bedroom, 2 bath, mobile home that my biological mother (momma Shirley) shares with her sister (my Aunt Barbara). The plan was that I would become the care giver for my Aunt Barb. (who is a brittle diabetic, suffers with emphysema, and is in the 2nd stage of Alzheimer's) so my biological Mother could join my truck driver Dad on the road, she is now learning to be a truck driver herself so the two of them can "team drive". A crazy twist to my story is that My biological parents have reunited after 40 years of being a part...THATS a story in itself, and something that I am "still" adjusting to....it's still strange. Anyhow. My 25 yr old daughter decided she couldn't stand being so far from her mom so she loaded up and followed. Then my 20 year old son decided he wanted to join the family moved here got a job and then moved his son and the mother of his son here as well. THEN my 14 yr old step-son (home for the summer) decided he wanted his momma K (me) and HE came here as well...soooo....all of a sudden we found 7 adults, 3 teen-age boys, and a 15 month old (plus 4 dogs a cat and 3 fish) living under one roof!! Needless to say it was a crazy mad house ZOOOOO around here for a while. Everywhere you looked there were body's, heads, elbows, and .... well you get the picture lol There is absolutely NOOO housing in this town, unless you want to "buy." THAT I don't understand a town wants it's community to grow, but yet they won't provide adequate housing??? OOOK anyhow... my grandson and his mother have gone back to Odessa, my step son has gone back to Georgia, my daughter Kym went back to an ex (whom I can't stand) in Oklahoma, and I am elated to announce that after 3 months I have finally found and leased a very nice place for my two teen-age sons, my 20 yr old son and myself. PRAISEE THE LORD!!! To say that the last three months of my life have been busy would be the understatement of the century, but it has now moved into a more calm, scheduled routine life for which I am sooo grateful. Then we got the bad news...

I took my Aunt Barb. in for a doctors appt. She had taken a "small" fall out of a chair (praise God no bones had been broken) and shortly after she began experiencing pain in her right shoulder and chest area. The doctor felt that she might of suffered a hairline fracture or possibly messed up her rotary disc in her right shoulder so she ordered x-rays. We got the results of the x-rays and it showed an "abnormality" in the right lung sooo a CAT scan was done....the results have now proven that she has got an inoperable cancer mass almost the size of a tennis ball in her right lung that is moving outward and has already begun to attached itself to the outer region of the lung and is moving into the bone :( all I can say is WAAAAAAAAAAA. We go in next Friday to discuss the diff. treatments available to her and to decide how we are going to attack this invasion. The prognosis is not good, and this is EXACTLY the path that my Aunt Barbs. mother (my grandma Ingram) traveled. My grandmother had taken a fall, broke her wrist, 2 months after the fall was diagnosed with lung cancer, and died 4 months later :( My Aunt Barb. has already come to terms with it, has already accepted the lot that has been handed to her, and has peace about it (she is a child of God and knows where her soul will spend eternity so she has no fear of death)....it's the rest of us that are not doing well :( It's been de ja vu for the rest of the family....a repeat of what they went through with their mother, and now their sister is traveling the same path and they are not accepting it very well. For me....my heart is so sad. You see as an infant, and a young toddler, it was my Aunt Barb. who cared for me. When I found my birth mother after 40 years, it (unfortunately) was NOT my mother that I remembered, but my Aunt Barb. I remembered her touch, her hugs, her scent. So ironic that it is "I" who is the one caring for her now. I am so sad about this news. I want to scream..."IT ISN'T FAIR!!!! I JUST FOUND HER!!!" but I know that everything has a season...EVERYTHING, including our life. I DO know that as bad as having the diagnosis of "cancer"....it is still far more merciful than Alheimer being what takes her life. Alzheimer is a HORRIBLE disease (a great aunt on my momma Pat's side of the family died from it) Alzheimer strips every ounce of dignity that a person has, it is a disease that affects the whole family in such a negative way. Yes....far better that it is cancer....but still WAAAAAAAA. So my days are now spent running back and forth to docs., treatments, and giving my Aunt the very best "daily" care that I possibly can. WHATEVER my Aunt Barb. wants, she gets, and NO ONE better tell me not too. Even though I now have a place of my own...it is still here with my Aunt that I stay. I was cheated out of so many years with a warm, loving, gentle woman who loved me and cared for me as if I were one of her own....I'm not being cheated out of even a second of her love and life now. Sooo dear ones. THAT is what has been going on in my life. THAT is why I've not been on and blogged for so long. I will say that I have missed it, and all of you, and I promise that I will not stay away for so long. I have forgotten how theraputic writing is. Just know that you all are in my prayers. I must get going for now...time to head back to the doctors. Keep me in YOUR prayers, and pray for my Aunt Barb. that the rest of her life here on Earth is one as free from pain as possible, full of family, friends, and full of LOVE and peace. Til fingers meet key-board, and eyes meet screen again....take care and God Bless....xoxo Kat